I had this whole lame New Year post in mind for January 1st. Shocker, I never posted it. It’s in my drafts as I write this. However, tonight I really had an eye-opening moment. And I’m here to share because I think there are others that may need to hear what I have to say.
Slapped With a Big Ol’ New Year Epiphany Stick
Do you ever just have one of those moments that just totally puts things into perspective? They come out of the blue, sometimes. I had one of those tonight. It’s been a rough couple of days in the blended family world, as my husband and I are dealing with another psychotic episode put on by the narcissistic biomom. 11.5 years of bending over backwards to be kind to this woman and her family. But, I digress… The moment came when I sent an Instagram message to the mother of one of my daughter’s friends tonight. I was sending an invitation to her birthday party. I barely know this woman. We see each other once or twice a week at target (obvs) and say, “hello”. Our kids laugh at how we always see each other there. But her responses to me created this chain reaction of good feelings and realizations. One of those moments that makes you wonder, “Is this some higher power reaching out to me to deliver a truth bomb”?! This woman I barely know asked what she can add to the menu, asked if I needed help with anything, specifically asked about which LOL Dolls my daughter is lacking, and excitedly told me, “Well, she has them, now”! I sat back and said, “Wow! She is amazing. So sweet”! And of course, I denied needing any help or food. My daughter is thrilled with the company. I turned to my husband and said, “Wow – why do I let shitty people bother me when there are so many people like this out there”? Then one by one, each of our wonderful friends, colleagues, neighbors, and acquaintances popped into my head. I realized how many amazing people we have in our life.
Don’t Spend an Ounce of Time on Someone Who Doesn’t Give a Shit About You
I’ve spent most of my life worrying about what people who don’t matter think about me. Scumbags (it’s true, they’re out there) with no reason to dislike me, but I feel the need to convince them to like me anyway. People have treated me poorly and I’ve tried to convince them that I’m worth treating better. Why? I teach my kids to not worry about people like this. But, I often don’t lead by example. If someone dislikes you, let them. Chances are they aren’t worth shit to you. The people who matter don’t need convincing. Say that again…the people who matter don’t need convincing. You are enough.
I continued to think about all of the incredible people that my family is blessed with. Our friends and family are incredible. We have neighbors, colleagues, teachers, and acquaintances who brighten our days with a simple text or small act of kindness. THESE are our people. THESE are the people I want to be surrounded by. Anyone else doesn’t deserve an ounce of recognition or energy. Each minute spent dwelling over terrible people who don’t matter or care about you is a minute taken away from the time spent with those who build you up and make your day brighter. (Grammarly didn’t even yell at me for that run-on sentence….so you know it’s good.)
I’ve spent too long worrying about the wrong people and their misconceptions. I’ve let too many people drag me down to their level of bullshit. I’m bigger than that. I’m better than that. Dare I say, I am way too blessed to stress. I can’t let that go on. I can’t show my children that this is okay. Don’t you do that, either.
I’m sharing my thoughts because I know others may need reminding. And to thanks to all of the people…friends, neighbors, colleagues, family, and parents of our kids’ friends who make our days brighter. You may not even know it- but I’m about to make sure you all know. Thank you!
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.